Of all the forewords I have been asked to write in my short but eventful literary life, this one has to be the most priceless because I have been given an opportunity to bring my own perspective on a matter that affects the lives of many of us. I am both honored and humbled therefore to add my thoughts ahead of what promises to be both an enlightening and a challenging read.Once in a while, a book is written that demands to be read! This is one of them because it is a book about you and me, about the aspects of our lives that we are in denial about, the aspects that are often unexamined. As a result, we miss the opportunity to grow. The greatest weapon of destruction ever invented has to be ignorance and a closed mind. Even the Lord, warns, “My people perish from ignorance”.

When I look at the state of the world, at people’s faces, at the growing levels of greed, disease, poverty, restlessness, violence, hatred, and a sense of quiet desperation from the injustice between fellow human beings, I have to also wonder whether our lives are what God intended for mankind.Each time I have an attack of this kind, I always come to the same conclusion; that it is not possible, we could not have been created in the image of God simply to be miserable. What would be the point? We are the crowning glory of all Creation, aren’t we??

I have to believe that God created us in His image because He had a purpose for each of our lives. I guess it would be helpful if we could each arrive on earth with a little message folded in our little hands from God reminding us why we are here and what our purpose is. I can assure you it is way more significant than what you have done with your life as you read this.

I am a living example of someone whose life has been about broadening the confines of a life into which I was born when I discovered that I could be far more and I could do much more with my life. That was when I believed that I was created in the image of God and had been given dominion above everything else upon earth.

The greatest discovery of life is that moment when we realize that society teaches us about what we can never be or accomplish than how truly magnificent we are, how powerful we truly are. Human beings are creatures of habit and we make assumptions about so much in the world. This book is challenging us to remove the blinkers and the
scales from our eyes, to renew our minds and our hearts, to keep our minds open, to question the human system into which we are born and to understand not just ourselves and our world, but the many other worlds around us.

The best lesson anyone ever taught me was from my mother when she taught me to live within my means. I closed all accounts more than 20 years ago except my bonds which I have always paid off within 5 years. The system seduces us to create a credit record to keep us trapped in a consumption culture.

The morale of the story you are about to read is that we are responsible for our lives and that choices have consequences. My invitation is for you to pay attention to your life script and to live both purposefully and mindfully. We re-claim our power when we are fully present. The invitation of this book is for all of us to live according to Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

May you each be enriched by the pearls of common sense and the wisdom captured within these pages. Practice senseless acts of beauty and random acts of kindness.

Blessings

Wendy Luhabe

1. Set-up a triangle – In the boot of your car, underneath the carpeting, there will be a tool kit with a reflective triangle. Set this up 45 metres away from your car to warn other motorists of your position.

2. Loosen the wheel nuts – Take the wheel spanner out of the tool kit and approach the deflated wheel. Remember to loosen the nuts before jacking up the car, as the ground offers resistance. A wheel in the air will simply rotate. Adopt the old slogan “rightie-tightie and leftie-loosie,” which means turning the spanner clockwise will tighten the wheel nut and counter-clockwise will loosen it.

3. Jack-up the car – In your tool kit there will also be a jack. Take this out and you’ll spot a curved mounting point and a flat point on either side. The flat point, the bottom of the jack, must be placed on the ground. The curved point must go under the car. You’ll notice that the underside of your car has two points at each end where this curved point fits. Placing this in the correct position ensures that you do not damage the underside of your car. Once the jack is in place, begin rotating the lever in a clockwise motion and the car will lift.

4. Put the spare wheel on – Underneath your tool kit there’s normally a full-size spare wheel or a ‘space saver’ or ‘Marie biscuit’ – as we South Africans call it. Once you have the spare wheel in place, look through the holes and make sure that they line-up with the hole on the hub of your car. Then place the wheel nuts back in as tight as you can with your fingers.

5. Lower the jack and tighten the wheel nuts – Start to rotate the lever in a counter-clockwise motion until you can remove the jack from the mounting point under the car. Then grab your wheel spanner and tighten them as much as you can.

6. Get to your nearest tyre shop – Drive slowly to your nearest tyre shop and have them either repair your damaged tyre or replace it with a new one for safety.

I share with you extracts of an email conversation that I had with Kazeka. I am putting this out there so that we can share experiences and advice. We welcome your participation.

 

17 August 2015 – Email from Kazeka to Wendy

SUBJECT: BEING SEXUALISED AS A BUSINESS WOMAN

Ma Wendy, do women of your generation get sexualised as our generation of young women? I had a white female colleague who runs her own SMME almost in tears on how men dangle business and then want sex in return. I myself was almost raped in a similar situation where men want to meet us late in the evenings (sensing our ambitions and likely to decline) and then proposing sex. How does one navigate these issues? I have yet to hear women of your generation share their experiences, if any, and what advice would they give us. It is unbelievably prevalent. Add being single and unmarried and there are simply horror stories. How can we do business, have ambitions and realise them in such an environment where we as young women are caught in between wanting the bacon, men dangling it and wanting to maintain our integrity and dignity? My peers and I struggle with this one and would love to hear your views.

Regards,
Kazeka

 

17 August 2015 – Email from Wendy to Kazeka

Dear Kazeka,
Thank you for your e-mail and your request.
I have heard that this is a prevalent challenge for women. Fortunately, I did not go through that myself. My clients were predominately white companies when I started my first business in 1992, and the first person that gave me business was a white woman. This is not to say that white men don’t dangle the fruit as you put it. I think it cuts across the racial board. However, from what I have heard from women all over the world, it would seem that this challenge is mainly coming from black men.

I have not personally dealt with black men who are notorious for this. The clients I have dealt with over the years were mainly Caucasian and I never encountered this challenge. What advice would I offer?
In any relationship we need to draw boundaries. This translates to the following:

• I would never meet someone on a business related matter outside working hours.
• Secondly, if they made an approach I would record the discussion and report them.
• Thirdly, I think women need to speak out about these issues and bring them into the light so that they lose their stronghold.
• Lastly, I would insist on meeting only at their office, not for lunch, dinner or a drink…it’s inappropriate.

In conclusion, we must make sure we do not compromise ourselves and our values to get business. It is no different to prostitution.
Forgive my frank response to your question.

Blessings,
Wendy

 

18 August 2015 – Email from Kazeka to Wendy

Hello Ma Wendy,
I appreciate your frankness. Older women who have succeeded without compromising themselves need to start advising us strongly on this matter as it kills our esteem as young businesswoman. I have often been exposed this problem in my Times Media column and freelance writing but it still persists.

My own accomplished late mother was unable to advise me as she, like you, hardly experienced it. I like your boundaries of meeting them at their office (no lunch or dinner). Will execute that one!

It can be so hard though when they dangle business in front of you or when your business is experiencing a dip whilst keeping your ambition alive but I will keep this boundary in mind.

One more question, how does one report the issue when it is the President/CEO/Owner of the company whom you want business from (obviously having more money, reputation) and the buck ends with him? As a 30 year old and many ones younger, single businesswomen still trying to build their businesses up? And can I direct other young women to your site who experience the same problem?

Highly appreciate your honesty and your time.

Regards,
Kazeka

 

26 August 2015 – Email from Wendy to Kazeka

Dear Kazeka,

Thanks again for continuing the discussion. Operate on the basis that a man will make an approach, and if he doesn’t, then that’s an honourable man to work with. So if you move on this basis, it means going to all meetings prepared for that possibility. You don’t need any high tech devices to record someone. Today’s smart phones can do the trick.

But look, it’s not all men who are vile like that, but its best to be equipped in case they are. I’m sure you are fully aware of the challenges in trying to prove wrong doing in a he-said she-said scenario.

Just yesterday, I accepted a bunch of Friend Requests on Facebook. Here are some of the messages I subsequently received and deleted. I also reported them to Facebook and I also Un-friended them. I draw the line! So remember too to always draw the line. Ensure the lines are crystal clear… not thin or grey.